THERE WILL BE SPOILERS: Usually I don’t lead with this but this review will be so saturated with Spoilers that if I were to remove them there would be nothing left

“They were a group of friends unlike anyone else” this is the way that the Virgin Asian English Major decided to start off the first episode of Underemployed, the latest offering from MTV that is designed to find comedy and tragedy in the trials and tribulations of a bunch of know nothing Twenty-Somethings. The Virgin Asian English Major then proceeded to completely annihilate her opening statement, by telling us how there is actually nothing unique about her group of friends, so right off the bat we can’t even trust our narrator as far as we could throw her, which I imagine would be pretty far considering in addition to being a virgin, Asian, and an English major she is also quite petite. I mean if I tried to throw her it probably wouldn’t be that impressive , but if say nineties Hulk Hogan, you know back when he was on the dope,  were to throw her he’d probably toss her the entire length of a football field and have the world record for farthest toss of a Virgin Asian English Major. As a note I’m sure she has a real name and I’m sure it was said during the episode, but I don’t remember it and as much as it would make my life easier I am going to continue to type out Virgin Asian English Major every time I refer to her because if there is one thing that was ingrained in my head by the first episode of Underemployed it is that the Ted Mosby of this story is a Virgin Asian English Major.

Which seems like the perfect time to transition into the other characters in this tragic comedy. In addition to the Virgin Asian English Major we are soon introduced to the Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe, the Vaguely Latino Musician, the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger, and the Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome. I could have made it easy on myself by calling her the Hot one, but as my Suicide Pact and Solidarity Brother in watching Underemployed pointed out “Their ‘hot’ one isn’t that hot…” Plus there is the fact that even if she were that hot she would still be the Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome, which if I’m sticking to a strict system of calling these character’s strictly by what the writer’s continued to harp on and make sure I knew about these characters then this is unfortunately the only way I can refer to her.

Now that we know the players… on with the show.

A year ago these fresh-faced young Turks stood on a bridge and said that they were going to conquer the world. After the bridge scene, there was one more scene set in the past where it was revealed that the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger and the Vaguely Latino Musician are dating and what with the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger going for his Master’s degree in New Orleans and the Vaguely Latino Musician’s dream being to go on tour with a band clearly it is time for them to break up. Their rationale is that this is what adults do and it will make them better friends.

Flash Forward one year and we see that things haven’t been that great for our Quintet. Our faithful narrator the Virgin Asian English Major is now working at a Doughnut Shop named by the ever clever writers Doughnut Girl and being called a bitch by customers because they are out of maple bacon bars and having maple bacon bars is her job. Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe, who let’s face it had the least prospects from the beginning prelude, is now living with a Hot Blond Russian Bulimic who was supposed to have gone home a year ago  (who I’m not sure is part of the group or not) and none other than the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger fresh out of his Master’s program in just one year. Truly an achievement to be excited about and also something that never happens, clearly he has dropped out of school but we are given no explanation why. In addition to being roommates, Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe is doing the jobs that would be expected of someone who dreams of being an actor, a model, or famous these jobs are best known as “odd jobs” and when we first meet him he is acting as a Stripper-Gram for an old woman in an office and when we join him back at the apartment he is getting ready to work a catering job. Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger is part of one of those clipboard groups and we see him on a street corner trying to get people to talk to him about the environment. Next we catch up with the Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome, who had hinted at wanting to make big money in marketing during the bridge scene and is now shown in a board room presenting a campaign for dog food that’s so good humans can eat it too. Everything seems to be going well until Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome is asked to eat some of the dog food. Wait hold up, why is that bad, why was this scene shown against being ignored on the street, stripping for old ladies, and selling doughnuts as Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome not being where she wants to be in life. Her whole desire is to work in marketing and she is working for a marketing firm, plus if the dog food is going to be marketed as something that humans can also eat wouldn’t it actually be good enough for humans to eat. I’m sorry but I just don’t feel that she is in that bad a way, she’s actually doing what she said she wanted to be doing and it would be foolish for her or anyone else to believe that after one year she would be on top of the marketing world. Now if her marketing were working at Kohl’s selling shirts to people then that would mean she failed at least on par with the rest of her friends. However, doing the job you wanted to do even if its not in the highest paid position is a victory and here is just one example of a counterintuitive to actually being awesome act, but don’t worry its just the first of many for Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome. Finally there is Vaguely Latino Musician who in a very cool shot looked like she was performing on stage and then we pulled out to see she was just working the bar at the club. Then we jump from her in some club to her standing on the doorstep of Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger and Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe’s very large apartment appearing very pregnant. That’s right we have our first title change of the episode from here on Vaguely Latino Musician will be referred to as Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician. It is revealed that Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician has left LA (which I’m pretty sure is supposed to stand for Los Angeles but I couldn’t help but think of Louisiana considering that is where Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger went to school) and come back to Chicago because of her pregnancy.

Upon the revelation the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger freaks out because apparently he can’t do math. We have been told that a year has gone by and his ex-girlfriend that he broke up with a year ago has shown up pregnant. Now personally she didn’t look like she was that far along in this scene so I figured she got knocked up by some stranger in Shreveport (I’m sticking with my guns that she was in Louisiana, if only because the jokes are more esoteric) and then showed up at her ex-boyfriend’s house, you know like you do. Yet when Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger sees Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician he instantly assumes he is the father and starts talking about getting married and settling down, like a total dumb ass. Which leads us to name change number two, from here on Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger will be referred to as Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass. (I know what you’re thinking: “Devon isn’t the fact that he’s a Dumb Ass implied by his original title?” and the answer is yes, but his actions and his assumption that his ex-girlfriend is something like eleven  months pregnant have made it necessary to remind us each time he is mention how big a dumb ass he actually is.) Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician reacts in the way that one would imagine to a man offering her support in a time of need. She runs away from him.

Well I spent far too long on those two so lets get back to Virgin Asian English Major who is in the process of experiencing a moment that we have been told by the media is oh so embarrassing: Running into a former classmate who is more successful than you. Except much like when Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome had to eat dog food to do her job in marketing, this moment had no bite behind it. From what we know about Virgin Asian English Major her life long dream is to be a famous writer, working in a doughnut shop is exactly the kind of thing a struggling writer would do. It’s the kind of job that as Virgin Asian English Major said allows her to pay the rent, but it also fosters the interaction with many different types of people which should act as an inspiration for your writing. Unlike other jobs writers don’t get paid until they sell an idea or a book, and since food, clothes, shelter, and Angry Birds aren’t free you unfortunately need a job that will inspire you to write in order to pay for these necessities until the time when you are lucky enough to sell an idea or book. Once Virgin Asian English Major gets over her initial embarrassment of running into a former classmate, the two share doughnuts on the bench outside of Doughnut Girl. I was particularly impressed that Virgin Asian English Major got over her embarrassment before finding out that former classmate was a clerk at a law firm, not that glamourous,  and that the attractive black woman he was in the shop with was actually his boss. As they sat on the bench Virgin Asian English Major revealed that every night she sits down and attempts to write something on her computer and then five minutes later she ends up playing Angry Birds on her phone. Former classmate admits to playing a lot of Angry Birds too in a very awkwardly written attempt at flirtation and the two make plans to talk some more, though they don’t exchange numbers so all of you out there thinking she might be on her way to a name change I’d stop thinking that way. Virgin Asian English Major is then called back into the shop and bid farewell to her former classmate and says that it was nice meeting her to his black boss.

Back to my favorite one to bitch about Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome. It’s about time we are given a reason to feel sorry for her and the writers must be reading my mind because here it is. Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome confronts her boss, Todd (a.k.a. the guy who made her eat dog food a.k.a. the only character whose name I didn’t have to think about to type) about the fact that she has worked for the company for a year and still isn’t being paid. That’s example number two of an action counterintuitive to actually being awesome. Awesome people usually get paid for what they are doing and if they aren’t getting paid they usually speak up about it before they’ve given a year of their time for free. Todd says that he’ll look into it and asks if Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome wants to have lunch. She says she’ll go get the menu binder and Todd explains that he would like to take her out to lunch (example three of acting counterintuitive to actually being awesome: Not knowing when someone is asking you to lunch). Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome agrees and says “Let’s lunch it up” and then as Todd turns and walks out the door under her breath admonishes herself for saying lunch it up (example four: Awesome people never question if what they said was awesome). At lunch Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome easily gives us our fifth example by assuming that Todd has only asked her out to lunch to fire her, fearing that she would have made a scene in the office. (Awesome people never assume the worst.) Todd calms her down and explains that he took her out to dinner because he thinks she’s smart and pretty, which is about the greatest compliment that Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome has ever heard and with that we have example six: Awesome people know how to take a god damn compliment, because they are used to them, because they hear them all the time, because they are awesome. This one compliments turns into very awkward making out in public, then a commercial break, when we come back to more awkward making out this time in a parking structure, finally we wind up in Todd’s car and Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome asks him what the employee handbook says about interoffice romance, he doesn’t have an answer and it turns into the two having sex in the back of his car. This is the first actual awesome thing that the character did but at this point its one awesome point to six counterintuitive to awesome points. Honestly I don’t know if she can beat the spread.

As if the writer’s knew that I would be nervous about Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome’s actual status as awesome, and not giving a damn what I as an audience member think,  the next scene is of her and Virgin Asian English Major on a train platform where Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome is asking the person least likely to be able to help her with this problem what she should do about sleeping with her boss. That’s another counterintuitive point since awesome people don’t question that kind of stuff they just brag about it. Luckily Virgin Asian English Major is there with a forced quotation of Emily Dickinson in order to put it all in perspective for Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome and also remind us that she’s not just a virgin Asian but an English major as well. The two are on the train platform to meet Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician and find out that she is going to be staying with her Mother and then they ride the train. I’m not sure why, they didn’t actually go anywhere and based upon what was said it felt as if Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician had already been home and talked to her Mother about it.

Jump to Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe working at the catering gig and being eye-fucked by an older woman, who happens to work for GQ and would like him to come to a party she is throwing the next night for Calvin Klein. Significant because Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe’s dream was to one day be an underwear model for Calvin Klein. Soon the two are on the street and she asks if they should go back to his place or hers. He correctly answers hers and we assume has a night of mind blowing sexual awakening later that knight he comes home to Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb

As we get to this point I am reminded of a scene that was so short it was blink and you miss it that happened earlier in the episode. Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe and Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass were on the phone with one another and the topic was that Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass needed to confirm whether or not the baby was his, but he had to be careful because it would be the worst question in the world to ask. Personally I think it’s not that bad a question because well having a baby is a pretty life changing event, plus in this scenario it’s a question that doesn’t need to be asked. Let’s face it unless she’s pregnant with Boo Radley there is no way that she has been pregnant for eleven months. I kept hoping that maybe the show would have flashbacks, like Lost or any other show produced after Lost that’s trying to be as good as Lost by only emulating the flashbacks, and we might get to see what happened to these Five in the year between then and now, but I doubt that will happen. Instead the phone call ended with Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe saying that in his friend’s honour he would be buying a twenty-four pack of condoms.

Back to the present in the storyline, on the heels of Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe telling him he got laid and is now going to get to meet Calvin Klein. Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass heads over to Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musicians house with flowers to try and convince her to love him. When he arrived her Mother was all excited because all she did was lock herself in her room and play her music and she figured that if anybody could get her daughter out of her room then it was Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass. In he went and he tried to coyly ask if she had been with anybody else and she got angry and threw him out, without confirming or denying that it is his baby. If it were me, I still don’t think I would be at a point where I think the kid is mine.

Still the next morning Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass goes out for a delightful fantasy montage of him going into different buildings and asking if there are any jobs available. Only to be told no at every turn. The no’s weren’t the fantasy part, the fantasy came in the fact that he was able to walk into these buildings and speak to somebody about employment. I’ve tried it and trust me it doesn’t work, you’re told that job applications are accepted online, or that they aren’t seeing applicants, or that the position has already been filled, by the front desk secretary long before you wind up sitting in an office with someone to tell you the exact same thing.

Leaving Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass defeated we join back up with Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome at her job. She has decided to take the advice of Virgin Asian English Major to heart and either not date Todd and keep her job and start getting paid or if they won’t pay then quit the job so she can have sexy time with Todd in public. Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome confronts Todd and asks about the raise and he says he wasn’t able to do anything yet, so she enacts plan B and quits and tells Todd it’s so they can be together. Again not awesome, for those not counting along that’s eight now. It was definitely a crazy bitch move… but not awesome. Todd now on the verge of losing his best employee who reminds him of himself at that age comes clean and tells Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome that he has a girlfriend. In a display of actually being awesome Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome tells him to end it in a very matter of fact way. When Todd says he can’t she then demands that she get paid because she won’t quit if it doesn’t mean getting Todd as a consolation prize. He offers her $300 a week she says no, he offers her $500 a week and a parking space, she says she can’t afford a car  and  he offers her $750 a week, she says $750 a week and a parking space, because now she can afford a car (teehee).

As a brief side note let’s talk about the fact that if she is making $750 a week that means she makes 39K a year which I don’t what world the writers are living in, but here in the real world is nowhere near the definition of underemployed.

It’s okay though because we now get to cut over to Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass who is in a meeting with his Father. His Father runs one of those companies that is raping the environment and since his son is an Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass he is none to happy to have his Son coming to him and asking for help, especially when his Son has been talking smack about what his Father does right to his face. It’s cool though the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass is smart enough to tell his Father he’s not looking for help he’s looking for a job, initially exciting his Father until he mentions it’s because he got Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician pregnant which prompts his Father to call him a stupid son of a bitch. Again I’m not sure that he actually did get her pregnant. I did gloss over the whole scene where he went to her house with flowers and her Mother was all excited because all she did was lock herself in her room and play her music and she figured that if anybody could get her daughter out of her room then it was Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass. In he went and he tried to coyly ask if she had been with anybody else and she got angry and threw him out, without confirming or denying that it is his baby. If it were me, I still don’t think I would be at a point where I think the kid is mine.

Regardless Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass’ father gives him a job in the mailroom. As another side note, as we later join Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe on his way to the Calvin Klein party we find that Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass will be making 35K a year, this is later amended when he is talking with Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician to 30K a year, which is addition to being bad continuity on the part of the writers is also again not indicative of being underemployed.

Picking up  from Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe on the way to the party he eventually arrives and meets up with the older woman who works at GQ who seems surprised that he has shown up, guess the sex wasn’t as mind blowing as I would have imagined. “Mike?” is how she greets him and he corrects her and goes forward to introduce himself to the silver haired gentleman that she was talking to assuming he is Calvin Klein. The silver haired gentleman reveals he is not Calvin Klein and that Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe is there to act as a server and hands him a pair of tight black bike shorts to wear, adding that if he doesn’t have a big package to wrap it in a tortilla. It is here where we again must pause to play my new favorite game nickname revision. Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe has used the entire episode to talk about how he wanted to be a model for Calvin Klein, one would assume that means he knows what Calvin Klein looks like. Granted I assumed that the silver-haired man was Calvin Klein but I don’t know anything about fashionable underwear, let alone the person who designs them. Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe should know considering his dreams and it was also foolish to assume his one night cougar catch was trying to get him a job with Calvin Klein, that is why from this moment forward Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe will be known as Semi-Retarded Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe, because well his actions were so stupid that I am pretty sure he has some kind of mental deficiency.

You know it’s been awhile since I mentioned Virgin Asian English Major so let’s go back to her. She’s closing up the Doughnut Girl and the phone rings. In true to life retail employee in a closed store style she answers and rudely informs whomever is on the other line that the store is closed, but what’s this she knows whose on the other line, not only that but they have asked her to go out. She agrees and then looks at her Doughnut Girl uniform and says that she has to change first. Looks like that whole scene with her former classmate wasn’t just to set up understanding for her playing Angry Birds instead of writing in that one blink and you miss it scene. Another side note I was very upset with the fact that she has apparently been playing Angry Birds instead of writing, but that she is only on level 3-2. I mean if she’s been procrastinating for almost a year with Angry Birds one would hope that she would have actually gotten good at the game and not still be on the first episode. Back to the show we find out that it’s not the former classmate who called but his boss the black female lawyer. As it turns out she is also a lesbian and that is why she asked out our little Virgin Asian English Major. After taking some interest in her writing and telling her instead of trying to write Call of Duty meets Devil Wears Prada she should write what she knows. Virgin Asian English Major is all, but there’s nothing interesting about me, to which black female lesbian lawyer says that’s not true she agreed to meet her for a drink and then touches her hair.

Cut to loud female orgasm sound effects as the black female lesbian lawyer eats out our narrator like a take out order of shrimp fried rice. You know what that means another fun filled game of nickname revision. Since even she admits that it wasn’t really sex later on in the episode and Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome in another example of not being awesome jumps to “in the butt” and Virgin Asian English Major says we’ll talk about it later.  I hereby decree that from this point on we refer to Virgin Asian English Major as Sexually Confused Possibly a Lesbian but Definitely Still a Virgin Asian English Major.

As much as I would like to skip back to the Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome’s storyline we need to take a quick stop at the shared apartment of the Semi-Retarded Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe and the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass, where we join the latter and the Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician as the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass tells her he got a job making real money with his Dad and she got all pissed off because he’s giving up on his dreams. This would have been a great time for her to reveal to him that it’s not his baby… but instead they just continued the fight about how he’s trying to do right by the girl he thinks he impregnated but she doesn’t want his help she wants his love. This means that Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician doesn’t understand the fact that Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass saying he’ll give up his dreams for her is such a huge display of true love and instead allows the act to upset her. I’d add the term oblivious to her title, but I’m going to blame the lapse in common sense on a combination of pregnancy brain and fiery vaguely Latino attitude. Thankfully after an eleven months gestation when a distraction was needed Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician went into labor and bailed the poor sap out. As soon as she went into labor the Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass found the right words to explain it was love that was motivating him and the release of amniotic fluid also seemed to have cleared her head and finally allowed her to actually accept all of the love and support he was offering.

Now we’re back on my (sarcasm) favorite character (end sarcasm) Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome, for a little bit of character development. At least that is what I thought we would get when she came home to talk to her Father who she lived with and watch a YouTube video of her brother who is apparently in the armed force overseas dancing with his squad mates. It is revealed that her Father is at least partially responsible for her desire for everyone to think that she’s awesome, when he asks her if she handled it the way that he would have. Unfortunately that is the only reveal we had in the scene as she got a text message about Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician going into labor and had to leave. I suppose there was a bit more character development right there at the end when she just left without telling her Father why and told him he should considering wearing pants and we flashed down to his boxers. One would think that if you have enough time to insult your Father’s casual wear then you could also say my friend is having a baby.

Cut to Semi-Retarded Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe, Sexually Confused Possibly a Lesbian but Definitely Still a Virgin Asian English Major, Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome, and Hot Blond Russian Bulimic in the back of a cab. This was probably my favorite scene in the whole episode as Semi-Retarded Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe tried unsuccessfully to get the cab driver to go faster. In the end Hot Blond Russian Bulimic spoke to the driver in her native tongue and there was a noticeable increase in speed. This is why I want the Hot Blond Russian Bulimic to be a part of the gang, because she keeps her mouth shut and gets shit done when it needs to be.

Soon the whole gang wound up at the hospital and it was a grand reunion. They were happy to see that Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass and Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician had reconciled. Quick bit of housekeeping nickname revision for Vaguely Latino Explicitly Pregnant Musician, she shall hereafter go by    Unwed Vaguely Latino Mother, until a time when she is seen playing music outside of the home again. Semi-Retarded Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe regaled Sexually Confused Possibly a Lesbian but Definitely Still a Virgin Asian English Major and Girl Who Desperately Wants Us to Believe She is Awesome but Continually Does Things that are Counterintuitive to Actually Being Awesome with the story of working for Calvin Klein and how he somehow got pictures of him talking with Calvin, the GQ lady getting mad, Security kicking him out, and GQ lady getting in trouble with the police for creating a disturbance. In the final picture it looked as if she was giving him the “call me” sign so we probably haven’t seen the last of her. Then he revealed that Calvin Klein had asked him for his headshot and that is looks like he may be on his way to achieving his dreams. Then he went over to Hot Blond Russian Bulimic to tell her the same story and show her the same pictures leaving the two girls alone to discuss whether or not Sexually Confused Possibly a Lesbian but Definitely Still a Virgin Asian English Major had lost her anal virginity.

Soon they were all in the delivery room and passing around a newborn baby, which is usually frowned upon, but I guess when you have been pregnant for so long the baby just comes out and starts walking like a wild animal. Seriously I am still bothered by the fact that it appears as if Idealistic Hippy Tree Hugger Dumb Ass is actually the Father considering you know real world facts.

In the end we were treated to a lovely voice over monologue from Sexually Confused Possibly a Lesbian but Definitely Still a Virgin Asian English Major about how you don’t always get what you want in life and even when you do it might be at the expense of something else, still if you’re living life to the fullest then there is no way that you are underemployed. As she said the title of the show she took out a lined notebook and wrote the word at the top of the page letting us know that this is the story we are going to be told over the course of the season.

That is if I keep watching this show. Which I probably won’t as much fun as it was to nickname all these whiny little kids, the show overall was awful. I am a big enough person to admit that I am probably biased because I feel as if this show took the place of I Just Want My Pants Back which actually nailed the whole thing about being young and unsuccessful in a realistic and meaningful manner. Unfortunately when held against I Just Want My Pants Back, this show was just not very good or believable.

But don’t just take my word for it here is a summation from my Suicide Pact and Solidarity Brother: “Not only does this new version of an older better show fail to capture the idea of being ‘Underemployed’ it also feels the need to crowbar in awkward quotations and attempt to teach us all something about life. Whilst managing to fail on all comedic cylinders and preaching to its audience, it fails to show any of the beauty and splendor of Chicago” ~ WJM Fournier.

Oh yeah that’s right very late in the episode I came to the realization that they are in Chicago, which is something, because up until that point I thought it was New York, despite the Sexually Confused Possibly a Lesbian but Definitely Still a Virgin Asian English Major saying they should meet in New York in a year in the beginning, I thought maybe she meant Manhattan as they were walking on the Brooklyn Bridge. It’s also important to note its Chicago because it doesn’t feel like the kind of place where a Semi-Retarded Actor/Model/Famous Guy Wannabe and someone who desires to be a marketing superstar would live. Those both seem like strictly New York City jobs to me and since the other three could literally live in any city for what they want to do. Leaving me with just one question why would you set this show in Chicago and not New York?